Ah, the family holiday — that magical time when parents dare to dream of relaxation, bonding, and Instagram-worthy sunsets. And then they actually go… with the kids.
It’s a ride. A full-blown, emotional rollercoaster where joy and madness travel hand in hand (usually holding a half-melted ice cream and a packet of baby wipes). So, buckle up. Here’s the real deal on the ups and downs of holidaying with children.
Booking the holiday
You picture yourself reclining on a lounger, cocktail in hand, watching your kids frolic in gentle waves while a resort waiter calls you by name.
Reality check: You have £300, 17 tabs open, and your kids just screamed “I don’t wanna go anywhere with sand!”
But it’s fine. You’re optimistic. You’ll just browse. This is how it starts.
You get search results and instantly you start to ask questions like:
- “Why is this resort five stars but only costs £12 a night?”
- “What’s technically walking distance from the beach?”
- “Do goats in the pool count as ‘rustic charm’?”
And quickly move on!
At last, you find the hotel, next it’s the flights! £80 for the flight, but fire do you want to take stuff with you, that will cost you extra. Although we all have that one friend who manages to pack everything, they need for their weeks holiday into a ruck sack! It doesn’t matter how tight I roll my clothes, that just isn’t happening! So that will be another £30 per bag, oh and if you want seat on the plane where your kids aren’t sat in a completely different postcode to you (although I do sometimes wonder if that would be a better option, they can be someone else’s problem for the next 2 hours!😂) then that’s another £10. Then the right to breath on the plane, probably extra for that too!
The packing
Ah yes, the innocent early stages. You’ve made a list. A beautiful, colour-coded list. You tell yourself:
“This year, I’ll pack light. We don’t need much.”
Fast forward 12 minutes and you’ve packed:
- 4 pairs of shoes “just in case”
- 12 tops for a 5-day trip
- A curling wand you haven’t used since 2017
- A board game no one likes but “might be fun this time”
Minimalism has already left the group chat. Then dare to start the packing for the kids. Packing for children is like preparing for an expedition to Mars—except with more snacks and tears.
You need:
- Clothes for every weather condition known to mankind
- Five ‘emergency’ cuddly toys
- Swimwear, spares, then spares for the spares
- More snacks than any human could ever consume (yet you’ll still run out at the airport)
And heaven help you if you forget the favourite blanket. That thing is more powerful than a passport.
Then comes the moment of truth: closing the suitcase.
You start by gently pressing the lid. Then sitting on it. Then aggressively zipping it while shouting “WHY did I pack the yoga mat!?”
Eventually, you win. The suitcase is shut. But now it weighs 94kg and you’ve got to decide which child you’re willing to leave behind so you can check in a second bag.
Airport shenanigans: The World’s most stressful playdate
Prepare yourself for an Olympic-level sprint through the airport while carrying:
- One child
- Four bags
- A half-eaten banana you didn’t want but are now emotionally committed to
At some point, someone cries. Sometimes it’s the kids. Sometimes it’s you.
Arriving at the accommodation: The great room debate
You have arrived all I one piece, Hooray! You paid for “family-friendly accommodation.” What you got was a room just slightly larger than a shoebox, where bedtime becomes a military operation and someone always ends up sleeping sideways.
And don’t forget the joy of a child discovering the mini-bar. £12 jelly beans? Fantastic.
Beach days & battles
The dream: lounging in a deck chair, cocktail in hand, while your children happily paddle in the waves.
The reality: chasing a toddler who has befriended a crab, applying sun cream to a moving target, and fishing a sunhat out of the sea while yelling, “That cost £15!”
You will bring 37 beach toys. Your kids will play with one: your flip-flop.
The great family photo hunt
You’ll attempt at least one family photo. One child will blink. Another will look possessed. You’ll have sand in your teeth. The lighting will be wrong. And somehow, there will be a rogue seagull stealing the show.
Still, you’ll post it. Caption: “Making memories ❤️”
The emotional roller coaster of it all
You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll threaten to turn the car around even though you’re already 200 miles from home. But in between the chaos, the cold chips, and the 3am cot-kicking marathons, there are moments so sweet, so perfectly imperfect, they make it all worthwhile.
Like the sleepy beach cuddle, the impromptu family dance party in your hotel room, or your child whispering, “This was the best day ever.”
Then they sneeze directly into your ice cream.
Final thoughts
Holidaying with kids isn’t a break — it’s an adventure. It’s messy, loud, occasionally sticky, and utterly unforgettable. So, pack the wet wipes, laugh through the madness, and know that one day, you’ll look back and miss the very chaos you’re cursing now.
Or at least… some of it.
Happy holidays, brave parents. You’ve earned that cocktail. 🍹
